Day 31

I can't believe I made it through a whole month! I was sure I wouldn't keep up with this, but hey, I'm proud of myself.

Tonight I just made chicken sliders. They were really tasty.

I love how cute and tiny they are!

Day 30

I went to a friend's place again today. It was really nice to see her. I brought her a house-warming gift since she moved. It was nice to get out again.

For dinner I made pizza sticks which were pretty good. I used to love pizza but now I'm not digging it quite so much. It's alright, but I probably won't have more for quite a while.

I suppose the rest of the night I'll just try unwinding. I've been tense all day. Hopefully I can relax.

Day 29

I had my counseling appointment today. It went really well. I'm glad I'm still going to them, they always leave me feeling like a little more progress was made.

Today was a lot warmer than it has been recently. Which gave me a migraine, hoorah. I still have it, and it sucks. I feel like throwing up.

I went to a friend's place earlier which was nice. I hardly ever see friends anymore. We talked for a while, then she made dinner so I ate over there. We had bean tacos and rice and it was really good. She's an excellent cook. I didn't get to take a picture though.

We started watching a movie after, and it was just really nice to be somewhere else with other people. I go crazy being here all the time. I need to start getting out more.

Day 28

Today was alright! I slept for way too long though. But I guess I felt alright.

I just had a leftover meatloaf sammich for dinner. It was really good.

I will definitely be making that meatloaf again. It was seriously good.

I have a counseling appointment tomorrow. I'm not really looking forward to it. I just feel really burnt out from the last one. It'll probably be good though.

Day 27

I wasn't very hungry for dinner tonight. I just had a bowl of dinosaur egg oatmeal. That stuff is so good.  I feel 12 whenever I eat it.

It's so much fun watching the eggs hatch. I love it.

My pops got home tonight. It's good to see him again, but I was really enjoying the time without him. It was much more peaceful. Ah well, nothing nice lasts forever.

Day 26

I just had leftovers tonight for dinner. Meatloaf and beans and stuff. I forgot to get a picture though.

Today hasn't been very good. I stayed in bed daydreaming for far too long and then the night's just been spent ruminating. I know I need to get away from doing that, I just don't know how. The thoughts just take over and I can't seem to help it.

Day 25

It was nice today with just my sister and gran here. We're able to have more fun than if my pops was here. I made dinner for us all. I did a meatloaf which I've never made before and it turned out rather well! We had corn and beans with it. It was a really nice meal.

Now I'm just relaxing and spending the night with my best friend. It's quite pleasant. Not such a bad day all told.

Day 24

My pops left tonight to go to Kentucky. He'll be staying until Memorial Day. He goes every year to put flowers on his parents' graves. So it's just my sister, my gran and I here for the weekend, which will be nice and horrific all at once. Yay.

Tonight I had carrots and hummus and corn on the cob for dinner. It was all really nice. I love freshly shucked corn.

I'm not going so well with things right now. Everything is just crushing down on me all at once and I can't seem to breathe. I feel like I'm drowning. I just don't know what to do anymore, but I have no choice but to keep living this way for now.

Day 23

I didn't end up eating dinner tonight, I feel sick and not up to eating. I've just been playing LEGO Harry Potter all day. I didn't have a nap today though, which is probably good but now I'm freaking exhausted. Probably sleep way too early and wake up and be up all night. :|

Day 22

Today wasn't so bad. It rained so it was cooler out which was really nice. I hate all this heat we've had. D:

For dinner I had mini eggrolls with sweet and sour. It's one of my favourite things to eat ever. I could live on those. Probably wouldn't live that long, but that would be alright.

I'm spending the night playing LEGO Harry Potter. Fun times!

Day 21

I am soooo tired. I've hardly been able to keep my eyes open today. It's terrible. It could be because of the pill increase, who knows.

For dinner I had pierogies, eggplant, carrots and tomatoes. It was all really good except for the eggplant. I've never had it before and wasn't really a fan of how I cooked it. It was way too rich. Maybe next time I'll just sautée it with some salt and see how that goes.

I had an alright day with my eating. No binges so I'm pleased about that. I went out for a drive earlier which was really nice to just drive with nowhere to be. I wish I could do that more often.

Day 20

Today was another long day. Felt pretty terrible, but I talked to my doctor and he's increasing one of my pills so hopefully I'll notice a change with that.

For dinner I had sautéed veggies, cottage cheese and sausages.

It was all really nice. I'm doing OK with my new eating schedule. Not fantastic, but it could definitely be worse. I'm relatively pleased with it I suppose.

Day 19

Today was long. I thought it was never going to end. I've been having such bad days that I just am waiting for night to come so I can sleep. I hate sleep too, though. Hopefully this is just temporary.

For dinner I just had a chicken salad sammich. It was quite tasty. I don't think I've made this since I quit eating meat, but it's something I'll definitely make again. Litelife makes amazing chicken strips.

I still have about 3 hours before I can sleep. I dunno what to do in the meantime. I feel like screaming and smashing things. I'll probably just spend it on reddit though I suppose. I hope it's not as hot tomorrow.

Day 18

We made pizzas tonight for dinner! They were pretty mediocre, but still, pizza. Pizza is good.

I didn't do much today. Showered and painted my nails. Those... those are my big accomplishments for the day. The rest of the day was spent in bed. I still feel like balls. But I've started my pills again because I feel like I was in a really bad state of mind when I quit them and I shouldn't have done that. I need to be on them right now. So we'll see how this goes again.

Day 17

I didn't have dinner tonight, I'm just not feeling very well and am not hungry.

I guess the only time I ate today I had scrambled eggs, but I didn't take a picture of that. Maybe tomorrow I'll be able to eat better.

I spent the day painting mostly. And that's about it.

Day 16

My gran made stuffed peppers for supper so I had one of those. It was really nice of her to make me one without meat. It was really tasty!

Yum, that thing was so good.

Today wasn't so bad. I didn't do too much, but sometimes that's okay. I felt alright, so that's something. I didn't eat breakfast or lunch though, so tomorrow I will try to make more of an effort to do so because I know it's good for me.

Day 15

So I had that appointment with my doctor today. It was really uncomfortable. I kept saying how I thought the pills were doing bad things to me and that I wanted to quit them, but he just kept going on about how he strongly recommends I stay on them. But it's ultimately my choice and I really feel like I'd be better off without them. So I'm going to stop them. Hopefully I'll notice a change in my energy levels soon. I hate not being able to get out of bed during the day.

For dinner I was lazy and just made some sweet corn. It was really nice. I had it with some cottage cheese.

I think I'll spend the rest of the night painting. I've been wanting to all day.

Day 14

So I didn't end up eating dinner tonight. I'm feeling really nauseous so I don't want to eat anything. I stayed in bed most of the day again, but tomorrow is my doctor appointment, so hopefully we can work something out.

Aaand, today wouldn't be complete without a picture, so here's a look out my window over our garden!

I'm excited for the sprouts!

Day 13

Well, I spent most of the day in bed crying. It was not a good day at all.

I didn't get a picture of my dinner, but it was the same as a few nights ago, turkey roll-up, so I'll just use that picture again.

Tonight's gotten a wee bit better, so hopefully this has passed and tomorrow will be better too.

Day 12

My sister came over today for Mother's Day. My gran decided to leave, so we didn't even get to see her, but it was nice to see my sister. I made her some vegan lasagna cupcakes and we has a slice of peanut butter pie afterwards. She couldn't stay long because of work, but it was still nice to hang out for a bit.

Today was alright in terms of my eating. Not amazing. I feel like it was a bit much, but I know every day isn't perfect, I certainly didn't binge which is the main thing. Day four in a row! I'm really happy about that.

I had the lasagna cupcakes for dinner and some mochi afterwards.

I feel guilty for eating those lasagna things. I don't know why. When I think about what's actually in them, they're not unhealthy at all. I even made the marinara from scratch. I think I just consider everything like that "comfort food" and to me, comfort food is bad because it's typically binge food. But I have to remember that I didn't binge. Even though it could be considered comfort food, it was relatively healthy and not bad for me. I just have to get over that. It's like when I had a veggie burger last week. I felt horrible after. I just have to work past all that. I have to remember that I'm finally doing good things for myself.